Family: My Mother’s Children

I’m one of five children born to my single mom, two girls and three boys. I was born in the 80s. My mom was 28, and I was her third child. I landed smack in the middle, with two older siblings and two younger siblings. 

We grew up on the west side of Chicago, in what is now being referred to as “EAST Garfield Park.”  Only one of us had a present father, my baby brother, but I totally longed for one. 

The thing that sucks about wanting a dad is losing any shot at it.


My sister and I share a father who passed away when I was 12.  Now I’m 37 years old with a husband and children of my own. Sure I have siblings and while we aren’t as distant as my mom was from her siblings, I don’t exactly feel a sense of belonging with them. I’m the Orange Sheep, so to say. My siblings, with the exception of one estranged one, are pretty loving. 

My sister is more like a bonus mom to me. She is an awesome auntie and a soft-hearted meanie. My two younger brothers are pretty wayward but loyal to the family. My mom and I are the closest. We seem like kindred spirits. Sensitive, moody, and for some reason, pretty guarded. 

My siblings connect better with one another. They share experiences and connect with one another more than they do with me. Sure, I’m busy, and I’m the only one that doesn’t live nearby, I think they feel safer being their whole selves with one another, as they don’t think I’d understand who they are or appreciate them fully. I feel the same. 

So far, I haven’t had the luck of my mom to find the extended family of aunties forged by love and loyalty. But I have gotten bonus parents that adopted me and my children into their family. My children love them very much. I also have some close bonds forming with women for the first time in a long time. 

Adult relationships are hard. 


Are you close with your biological family? Have you had to build your own family? Are you fortunate enough to have the best of both worlds?