Family: About Mother’s Day

Oh, Mother’s Day! It’s a day when we honor MAMAS for all that they do. What is a mom?

Mother: Mother: a woman in relation to her child or children, according to That sounds pretty un-inclusive to me. The word “mother” should cover all women who mother a child or children, whether they are hers or not.

I miss the value that we had on community/tribal raising. It truly takes a village to mother, and with the way society has changed so much, it’s a loss for women, their children, and the larger society. I mean, I’m a product of community raising. The band of aunties I mentioned in one of my posts helped to form me into the woman I am today. I mean, they still do.

My mom and aunties are rooting for me, praying for me, pulling for me, advocating for me, and all of my children, all without asking. That is beyond valuable.

Since meeting my husband, I’ve had so many expectations that just didn’t get met. Some of them were naïve, some of them were painfully disappointing, but I just had to accept that some things “just aren’t gonna happen.” My favorite present is a card. I mean, a card for any holiday that includes gifts, really.

I love the ceremony of it all. Going to the local drug store, finding a card for me, which is a bit more challenging as the only acceptable ones feature black people or animals. The card buyer would need to read what the card says and maybe a half dozen more. But the words in the card are never quite enough when trying to convey what you truly mean to them, so they will have to add a handwritten note.

Handwritten notes are THE BEST. I mean, in the dynamic between husband and wife, I love to look back on what my husband said that encouraged my heart when we had some of the hardest times. It can also be a healing moment when I get a card filled with reassurance when we are in the middle of a storm.

If the card buyer doesn’t live with you, they’ll need to fill out your address and mail it or drive it over. If they do live with you, they have to tuck it away until just the right time to give it to you. All the while they are giving you this card, they are thinking of you.

Cards are the most loving and unforgettable gift. 

B’s Opinion

Every major event that would instigate gift giving, I look forward to a card. I’ve told all my loved ones this, and most of them oblige. My husband is inconsistent at best. When he does it, my heart melts at the sweet messages; however, when he doesn’t, I’m hurt.

This is a crappy game of Russian roulette with my feelings on any occasion I expect a card. I’m sick of it.

B is super mad!

I’m a member of a few Facebook mom groups, and every year I read as some poor mommy is all torn up over the lack of investment her spouse or adult children have invested in Mother’s Day. ME INCLUDED.

Here is the thing. I think these loved ones should most certainly step up, and it’d be great if they did. However, under usual circumstances, being a jackass on Mother’s Day isn’t grounds for divorce or emancipation from one’s loved ones. So I’m going to change my attitude about Mother’s Day.

Introducing: B.O.M DAY!

It’s Catchy

Some women are in amazing partnerships, and I don’t want to detract from that. Band Of Moms 2021 is the Saturday before Mother’s Day, where you will have a fun-filled day together that ends in an awesome dinner.

Look, if you live your life anything like me, I’m not momming alone. My mom, my sister, my MIL, and all of my auntie/friends are helping keep me sane, encouraged, and loved as a woman and mother.

As much as I would love my husband to honor me on this day, I think honoring and being honored by my B.O.Ms is exciting and well overdue. They are the ones who encourage me after I lost my temper due to the 5th temper tantrum. It’s my B.O.Ms who I call when my baby doesn’t seem to be meeting some vague developmental milestone or when, for the 5th year, I didn’t get a card for Mother’s Day.

I OWE THEM BIG! And you probably do too.

So Sis, what do you say? Will you join me and plan for a B.O.M honoring celebration next year? With Mother’s Day just a couple of days from now, I sure could use something bright and positive to focus on. Maybe you’re already honoring your B.O.Ms. I’d love to share ideas.