Food: I regressed, inspired by a lack of progress

So, I love seeing the number on the scale drop. It’s a little reward for me. Sometimes I’d really want a piece of fried plantain. You know, the kind. Soft, brown, sweet, and crispy on the edges. It’s on the dining table a few times a week at least. My four-year-old loves them. To help stop the urge, I’d go stand on my scale, reaffirm that plantain isn’t worth being this size and get reassurance that my choice to adopt a Keto lifestyle was right for me and more importantly, getting me the results I wanted.

I think most Ketolites would tell you that the initial large drop in the weight you see is water weight, and that you will continue to consistently lose more overtime. They will also tell you that you sometimes stall or reach a plateau. OMG! (G for Gosh, don’t freak out.) This is crazy-making and so discouraging.

I’ve been too far overweight for 27 years. I really don’t want to wait for the weight to fall off.


I have yet to actually embody patience, I hear that I should with it being a virtue and all. I’m so tired of being limited by my weight, that even still being larger than I’d like triggers me. Oh yeah, triggers. Remember that whole post about me being an addict? Yeah. Be over here jonesing for anything that I shouldn’t eat.

COVID-19 has me cut off from all of my usual coping mechanisms when I want to abuse food. I have been focused on doing things that make me a better person and happier, but then LIFE gets in the way.

Sometimes my depression gets the best of me. I’ve been off meds for almost a year. Trying to use CBD and more self-driven mental health support. It’s easier to get by my negative self-talk by getting out and giving myself a time out of my own head. With my family choosing to adhere to our state’s shelter in place guidelines, I sometimes feel trapped. And so…

The pizza was delivered, so Pizza was eaten. So why not fry up some plantain. Oh, yes!


And guess what? IT SUCKED. Yep. I ate things and felt good for a moment. The scale didn’t go up significantly, maybe a pound or so. I did suffer somebody changes due to falling off the keto bandwagon. Most of all, I realized that not even food will make this better. The truth is, it never has.

This stuff has layers. Depression + Food Abuse Coping + Temptations Abound = Risk


I’ve got to deal with my issues. Step one, I’m going back on antidepressants. I hate them, but my kids deserve a better me, and I’m tired of the cycle of not taking them puts me in. Depression sucks, I’m fortunate to have an antidepressant with very few side effects, so I’m going to have to use it.

I also need to step back into the driver seat of my life in all areas. I’m happily back on the Keto bandwagon and back at trying to lose the unwanted weight.

So tell me, Sis. Do you have layers to the things that challenge you? How do you work through them? Have you ever dealt with depression, anxiety, or any other mental health challenges? Did you find a therapy that worked for you? I’d love to learn how you are managing it all, sis. Hook me up!